Where had the time gone???

Tonight is my final night in France. It is sort of a surreal feeling. My mother wanted me to move my flight up as I would be alone for a few days, but I wanted to come to Paris and wind down a bit. I do not regret this at all. Yesterday I just walked, and walk did I ever. I am staying by the airport so I have to take a shuttle into the airport and take a train into the center of Paris, so I wanted to stay in the center awhile and reflect on my time here. Being alone did not bother me in the least. It was a very nice day and I just chilled. I have been to Paris a few times so I have seen a lot of the sites and figured I wouldn't pay for them again. It was weird to realize that I knew where I was going. Yes Paris is massive, but if I just walked a ways I could always find a land mark in the center that I knew and could find my way. When I came in high school I got a few of us lost and the girls were very upset with me, but I got this shit now. Public transportation has become second nature to me know and that it saying a lot for a redneck from Iowa.
I fulfilled a life long dream, well a few year dream anyway , and did a segway tour around pairs. I swear this is the best way to tour the city. Those things are so much fun. I was like 30 minutes late for the tour and missed most of the safety training so I was just kind of thrown on to one. I was able to pick it up a lot quicker then the old women who were on the tour with me, but it was incredible. It is expensive, but I promise you will be able to see more and have much more fun than walking. Of course I forgot my camera the one time I wanted to take pictures, but I promise I did it. I bought a tee-shirt just to prove it. I always wanted to be rich like in Rocky IV where he drives a little car around his estate. F that, if I am ever rich I am going to drive a segway to go take a shit. It really was incredible.
It is strange how coming to a place with such uncertainty can become home. I saw a lot of great things, but I credit the people. I met so many people and you realize how similar people from other cultures are.  It is really easy to relate with people when you are in the same position being in a new place so far from home. Yes things are different. There is no Great Wall late chinese for after the bar, but you can always get a Kebab. Every culture has something. Going abroad for 4 months was great and I will always cherish the times I had, but living abroad for 8 months can really put things into perspective for you. I know I have changed immensely and hopefully for the best. I just want to thank everyone I met here for making the time I spent in Rennes so enjoyable. Thanks. Au revoir and I will be eating Hooters tomorrow. In the world of Bart Scott, " Can't Wait!"

Soft Pretzels and beer. Is this Busch Stadium? No its Berlin baby!

A special program within our school allowed us to take part in a winter session. It was an optional program and it allowed us to take a class in international strategic management for two weeks in another country. We were randomly drawn and had no idea of where our destination would be. I lucked out and my destination ended up being Berlin, Germany. I had never been to Germany and was looking forward to my next traveling opportunity. I was happy to go as I had been in Rennes for a few days by myself and the only human interaction that I had was with the people working the registers at Carrefour and with my lack of the French language there was not much going on there. Well I did buy alcohol for a minor and that was a bit of a struggle because he spoke zero English and my French is very poor, but it was nice to kind of talk to someone. He reminded me a bit of a younger version of myself so I was happy to buy the young lad some Desperados.
I bought my ticket fairly close to my departure so I did not have the best flight time. I honestly did not really know many people that were going to be joining me as many were from other programs that I did not have class with, but I wasn't too worried. Like I have said before, things have a way of working themselves out for me and it was definitely a good time. I did not get to Berlin until pretty late and had no idea where I was going. I had to take a bus to a train station and then take the train into town where my hostel was. On the train I noticed an overwhelming amount of NFL hats on. Although I did not agree with any of the teams, it made me feel comfortable to know that we had some fans over here. I managed to get to my hostel somehow and checked in a little after 10. Since I didn't really know anyone I had no preference of a roommate so it was going to be a surprise. The rooms were more like a hotel and I went up to find my room. I unlocked the door with my key card and as soon as I walked in a Chinese student popped out of his bed in his underwear. I couldn't help but grin and awkwardly introduced myself as we were going to be sharing a room for the next two weeks. He was a very nice guy and it worked out fine. I might have irritated him a bit, especially on the weekends, when I came into the room at about 6 AM. I could only think of the movie the hangover for the next few days as when we met the only thing I could think of was the movie the Hangover.  "You want to fuck on me" rolled through my head as I dozed off to sleep. I am just glad I didn't get hit with a tire iron.

I am not a morning person and many of my fellow classmates realized that I was not very talkative until around lunch time. I don't know how some of these people can be so cheerful in the morning. They sang songs about french clowns, some dirty french songs about putting your genitals on your shoulder, and in an attempt the wake me up they supplemented my name in place of shake and sang jake jake jake, jake jake jake, jake your booty. They probably thought I was just pissed off at life for the first few days, but c'mon it was like 7:30 in the morning. We had class every day, but that is obviously not what I am going to talk about. It was a little colder than the area of France in which we live and it was a little slick at times as there had been some mixtures of rain and snow. Marion found out the hard way. In an attempt to run across the street she ate shit. I didn't know whether to feel bad or laugh, but we all laughed pretty hard when she got up and started screaming that she kissed the German floor.Not sure if it completely translates right, but it was hilarious.

I was anticipating Germany as it is no secret that I like beer. There was no shortage of beer anywhere and something else close to my heart. There were soft pretzels everywhere called bretzels. In a train station, on the road, in the actual subway terminals. You could buy a beer and a pretzel anywhere. Not to mention the beer was fabulous. Another favorite of mine was readily available everywhere and that was Jagermeister. I was in absolute heaven. I loved the food as well. There was no shortage of bratwurst or a new dish for me called currywurst. Amazing. This is my kind of food. It was MAN FOOD. I will someday go to Oktoberfest as that is one of my life long goals to spend all day eating sausage and drinking wonderful German beer. It was nice to get out of France a bit. Things seemed much similar to home for me. There were Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts every corner. Not that I drink that crap, but I went in a few times to get out of the cold. They seemed to have more of a sense of capitalism or non laziness and stores were open 24 hours. It had been awhile since I had seen one which I had always I thought was normal for a long time. For my benefit, people spoke amazing English. I had to get used to watching what I said on the subway because people knew what I was saying.

We were able to see some great sites beyond the beer drinking that was going on. O wait, the majority of the beer drank may have been myself. Hey, when are you going to go to Berlin again? The school we studied at lined up a few activities such as going to a company visit of Air Berlin. We almost had to drag Pilar out of that place as she fell head over heels in love with the guy who was presenting. That was a long commute home listening to these girls discuss this Greek God. We were able to finally leave and I assume the girls raced to their computers to try and stalk this guy on Facebook. We were taken to a cool museum that was located on the museum island section of Berlin, but for the life of me I have no idea what it was called. Irrelevant. The trip we did through the school that I remember was the Reichtag (sorry for spelling) building. This was the parliament building for Germany and was an incredible building. It had been rebuilt after it was destroyed by fire. It is assumed they were orders from Hitler himself. Dickhead. There was massive security to get through. I of course forgot to take my belt off and was taken to be fully checked. It was a full check as the person doing it definitely got a handful. Other times I may have been mad, but it was the most action I had gotten in a long time so I was ok with it. I was just glad I composed myself. After seeing some of the preserved historical sections and where the councils were held, you were able to go on top of the building and see the best sites of Berlin. It was breathtaking. As much as I love the top of the Eiffel Tower, the sites up here were just as good if not better. It was truly spectacular. We were given headsets for the many kinds of languages represented in our group. It was cool. While companies have cross functional teams, I was able to have teams like this across numerous programs and even more nationalities. I caught myself people watching as everyone had their headphones on. Like other tours when you reached a certain area a new message would come on. You could see when people were not paying attention or walking to fast and you saw a lot of backing up and walking forward. It was like people putting a treadmill on too fast and trying to catch up. I am easily entertained.

There is so much history in Berlin and it is crazy to think that this history is pretty damn recent. World War II was not that long ago. There are numerous memorials in place for the fallen Jews of Europe and all of the others that were victims of the horrific Genocide. Germany does a great job as to not forget. Not to forget and to remind people that this will not happen again. On a tour through the city we stopped at a parking lot and looked a little confused. We were standing on a car park that was directly over the bunker that Hitler cowardly ended his life. They make no effort to immortalize him and I found that very cool. It was so intriguing to walk by the remains of the Berlin wall and you could honestly see the differences to this day on which sides of the city were in soviet control. Maybe I am old, but the fact that I was alive when the wall fell is so crazy. This city is really just finding itself. We also walked by the hotel where Michael Jackson held the baby over the railing. Fun fact and little bit of recent history. We frequented numerous memorials and even took the train to the outskirts of the city to go to a concentration camp. This was the Sachsenhausen concentration camp. It was a very eerie feeling touring this camp. I'm sure it was the same for most, but I absolutely could not fathom the incidents that transpired here. This was only like 70 years ago. It happened to be the coldest day there and of course I forgot to wear a heavy coat. I woke up a little late. I told you the beer was cheap. I would not have been able to make it in the cold, but I picked up a flask sized bottle of what tasted like peppermint schnapps to get me through and it worked.

Of course we went out a few times. There was a club very close to the hostel called the Matrix club. We had been doing some touring after class and rounded everyone up to go into a common room in the hostel. I love the word common room and I always think of the Gryffindor common room. If you don't like Harry Potter than you most likely smell bad.Well, we introduced a little beer pong with very small cups and then got kicked out as they closed early so we went back to a fellow classmates room where we got a bit routy and a bed got broken in half. They got off scott free so it worked out in the end. People had tried to get me to dance on the train every day and I always refused and informed them that the only kind of dancing I partake in is pole dancing. How did you learn you may ask. Well, I have been to a few strip clubs where I pay a bit more attention than class and used to work the pole at the skank tank (Sharky's) in my younger years at UNI. I should not have told everyone that. Any kind of pole they saw they wanted me to do it. I know what I am doing and do that upside down shit so I know the right pole. Well on our way to the club someone spotted a pole that would work. Ah crap, it looked like I was getting called out. It was cold and this pole did not work. It had no grip and was just not the right material that was suitable to erotic dancing. I went for it and tried to go upside down and just slid right down on my head/back. I was pissed off at myself to say the least as I knew I had much more potential then that. I tried again, but it was still half assed. Good thing the others did not know the extent of my skills and were satisfied. Good thing it was dark and the attempted video only produced audio. The club was fun and stayed open till like 6 AM. It was wild. I met people from all over and somehow missed a fun sounding fight. I always miss the good stuff.

Berlin was a great two weeks. Saw some amazing sites and met some great people that I will never forget. All it did was cement the fact that I want to see much more of Germany. Ok, that is fine with me. Hope to see some of you at Oktoberfest down the road. Au Revoir.

Jake's guide on living/studying abroad

My time in Rennes is coming to a close. I have been lucky enough to spend 4 months in Ireland and then an entire academic year in France. I have no regrets in the time that I have spent abroad and people have told me that I am lucky. Until recently I thought the same, but there is no luck. Yes I have taken out large loans, found great programs, but I did this myself and anyone can do it. Say what you want and make any excuse you want, but if you have the kahunas to do it, I promise you will have a lifetime of memories. I'll be honest, being abroad can change you a bit. Yes, I will always be the same guy who speaks before he thinks and puts himself in too many awkward situations to count, but some of your values change a bit. I don't know if it is bad to say, but I feel less ignorant. I have come accustomed to other cultures and don't have the same ignorance that I once displayed. Yes, I love the United States of America, and by far we make the best wings. I can't wait to go to hooters to eat some delicious wings and look at big breasted women. I am actually in a weird spot at the moment because I can't wait to see everyone, but I really don't know how I will adjust to being back home.
Well, there are things that you need to know about spending time abroad. As you could guess, things are not the same. Many things are completely different from what you are used to. Take France for example. The capitalist views that you are used to are not the same. There is no such thing as a 24/7 store. Stores close at 8. Yes 8, like the number of legs that a spider has and the number of chest hairs that it has taken me 23 years to grow. Things are not so easy, and you definitely need to plan more but it is something you get accustomed to. Guess what? American beer sucks. Yea you might be a lover of Bud Light, but I promise you it is shit. Step outside of your comfort zone and try an amazing Guinness or a splendid micro brew called La Chouffe. You will not be disappointed. Yes, when you come home your friends might think you are a pompous asshole for yelling at a bartender for pouring a Guinness wrong or turning your nose to a nasty light beer, but seriously the shit sucks.  You consider these beers you thought were great as beer pong quality at best. It does suck because they are more expensive to buy these imports at home, but your palate will never be the same.
Yes, if you are American like myself, you have no plans to ever learn another language because we are American and English is all we will ever need. Newsflash assholes, Spanish will soon take over as the most spoken language in the world. I have found a new gained respect for my fellow classmates who at least speak 3 languages. Yes, I have not learned a ton of French, but at least I can order a beer and I will at least try a bit, especially when I have had a few drinks. Newsflash, there is more out there than the state lines of Iowa or the borders of the US. I don't know about you, but the best experiences I have had are when I have stepped outside of my comfort zone. Live a little.
Like many of my past residences we are known for having some good parties. Never again will I have a party where there are over 20 different nationalities. Hey, we are all looking for the same thing. Lets get a little tuned up and have some fun. If you are thinking of studying abroad for the first time, I'll let you into a little info. Yes, host families are great for getting acclimated to local culture, but how long has it been since you have lived with your parents. Yes, probably a little bit, so why would you want to live with someones parents that you don't know and actually have to respect. I understand learning a new culture, but why not learn a new culture through people your own age. Its true, you are going to party a bit, so live it up with your own place and throw parties. These actions will be reciprocated I promise. You invite people over for a little shindig and they will invite you over and you will meet so many great people. I'm sure you have gotten set in your own routine, but step outside the box and have some new fun. Seriously, do it.
You will probably get into alternative sports like soccer (football) or rugby. At first you are just looking for a sport to watch, but honestly they are pretty damn cool. When you go home people will continue to say that it sucks, or that it is stupid and your are stupid for enjoying it. Well it is the most popular sport in the world dicks. Go to a small pub that is at capacity and watch a match where people are screaming the entire time. It is quite a bit of fun. Honestly it is not as easy as it looks. I have played a few pick up games and that shit is hard. My first pick up match ever I kicked some dude extremely hard in the leg and knocked him out of the game, but trust me scoring a goal is unlike anything else you have ever experienced.
Friends, food is much different as well. Yes we do the greasy shit well in the states, but these people have been cooking for generations. You think you like wonderbread, well try a f'n baguette. Seriously, I want to make love to one.  These people do bread right and don't even get me started on cheese. Yes, I love pepperjack and wish it was a world wide phenomenon, but I have done quite alright without it. This shit is real. They know what the hell they are doing.

So I have a little experience being abroad so you can refer to me as Socrates or if you are formal, Mr. Grothoff will suffice. Through diligent research I have created a model of reverse culture shock. Yes, it does exist. Going home is great and it is very exciting to see all of the people and friends that you left behind. Those first few weeks of being back are great as you are catching up with old friends and they are actually mildly interested in the stories that you have as you have had the most amazing months of your life. Sorry to say, but the excitement of being home quickly subsides. After the initial warmth of coming home you go into a state of mild depression. You have had so much fun and seen so many amazing things, that you really miss where you came from. After a little bit of sadness you become accustomed to the regular grinds of school, work, and the every day happenings. You finally get back into that normal routine and it feels good. The worst part is soon to come. After feeling completely normal for a few months it hits you. It can be different for all people. It might happen while laying in bed, going to the same bar that you were at the night before, or rubbing one out in the shower. It doesn't matter, but it hits you like a ton of bricks. You are bored and you really miss where you came from. You have had the time of your life and met so many amazing people. It finally becomes a reality and you realize that you will most likely never see many of these people ever again. Yes, thank the lord for Facebook, but it is not the same. It is a tough time and you realize that you are a bit different then your friends. You will be able to pull through and make the best, but you always know that you will only be happy when you travel, So I challenge all of you who have studied abroad to keep traveling. Live life to the fullest and if you are thinking about studying abroad, don't be stupid and do it. I promise you will not regret it. If I ever mess up and have children, knock on wood, I will require them to get some international experience because I think it is the best thing anyone can do. Well I know it was a bit of a rant, but I am going to bed. Au revoir.

 

The Leprechaun and his book of love

Yes, lent is over, but I am still seeing some cool places and decided I would like to still write about it so suck it. A couple weeks ago I went back to Dublin. I spent 4 months in Dublin a few years ago and I can honestly say it is my favorite city in the world. I had an amazing time there and being in such close proximity, I had to make it back. It was good to get back and see some old friends and go to the places that I used to frequent. It is really cool to go back to a large city in Europe and know exactly where you are going. I brought a couple of American girls that were studying at the school here and we headed to Nantes to catch a shitty Ryanair flight to the dirty Dubs. It is not like I never hang out with girls, my best friend growing up was a girl for heaven's sake, but it is easy to forget that we are completely different creatures. Apparently one of the girls gets freaked out on take offs and was closing her eyes and seemed to be in terror. I reassured her that a ryanair flight hasn't crashed in months and I got yelled at by the other girl. C'mon that is kind of clever right? Well i thought I was funny and then a few moments later there was sort of a loud buzzing noise and not even directed to anyone, I dryly said, " That can't be good." This time I really got my ass chewed. I gave up and put my headphones on so I didn't get in any more trouble. It was a short flight and was even shorter as I can sleep on command. We lucked out as soon as we got there. I had gotten the address to me friend Connor's house and found the bus line that would take us directly there. I wanted to see if I could get a cheap phone for a few days so I looked at a shop and it was too expensive so we went outside to go get the bus. Well I was thirsty and remember I could probably get a Dr. Pepper here so I told them to wait here. I went inside and to my delight I found A&W cream soda. I know this is irrelevant, but I am getting to the point. When I walked out of the shop Connor was standing outside looking around. He was holding a ripped apart corn flake box that read, "Jake Grothoff American." I laughed and ran over to him and we got a ride back to his place from his girlfriend. Well we spent the better part of the week enjoying Dublin, but there is one particular story I want to write about.
We were out one Sunday night, yes a Sunday, and were looking at some places to go. It was a little late as the girls had to get ready, but there were plenty of places to choose from. We stopped outside a bar and discussed where to go. This guy heard our accents and asked where we were from and and told us he was from New York or something I wasn't really listening. He was a short little man, in the resemblance of a Leprechaun and was wearing a tweed suit jacket. Who am I to judge so I invited him to come to Fitzsimmons with us. We got to talking and he was quite a weird little fella. He informed us that he dropped out of college to write a book on love. I could have laughed, but I like to instigate, so I went along with this. I drilled him on his book ideas and his inspirations. The girls went to the bathroom and I asked him if he was searching for love. He said he always is, but didn't mind a good one night stand. My eyes lit up and I knew how I could get these girls back for dragging me around Dublin shopping and using my navigational expertise to find a forever 21, whatever the hell that is. I told this Leprechaun that these girls were DTF. If you don't know what that means, than you should probably not be reading this blog. Well wouldn't you know it, it worked. He followed these girls around everywhere. They made it their mission to ditch this guy. He even started to follow me around and then shit got weird when he followed me into the bathroom. There were like 6 stalls and he picked the urinal right next to be. I was a little thrown off and could only think that he was trying to sneak a peak at my golden nuggets. You have your own gold Leprechaun. I even wanted to ditch the man. We even tried to go out on the dance floor, but he followed and started dancing like a wild man. I am not much of a dancer, but if I am challenged in anything I accept. Glad to say I dominated and got some props from some local irish for popping off my back to my feet. We finally succeeded and that Leprechaun went home, but it took a lot of effort. It was my fault and I didn't inform the girls of what I told him until we were back in France.
I had a great time and hope to go back to Ireland many more times. Au Revoir I have a Cardinals pregame to watch.

Opening Day

As you know I am a huge St. Louis Cardinals fan. Absolutely huge and guess what, Today is Opening Day. One of my favorite days of the year. This season was absolutely incredible and if you own a TV, computer, or stepped outside of your house last October, than you know how happy I was. It was such a long October for myself as I could not allow a game to be played in the post season without watching it. This made for some sleepless nights and some long days of class. Well that season was incredible and this year is upon us. After game 7, I sat there stunned for a bit and thought to myself, how crazy was it that I witnessed this in France. Now today, how crazy is it that I am seeing the start of the next season in the same place. This will not be the first time that I saw opening day in Europe. 2 years ago I found a bar that had ESPN America in Dublin, Ireland and got to watch an opening day win. The time worked out a little better there because of a day game and now in France I have to wait until 1AM to watch the game, but it is completely worth it. Try to find many bigger fans of any sports team. We bought some wings and have a little Bdub's sauce so bring on the wings. I have a oral exam tomorrow dealing with my thesis so will be doing without the beer, but I found a couple Dr. Pepper's so I will have some delicious carbonated drinks. So it is now time to start our title defense. They are not picked my many to do well, but who would have seen last year coming. There is only one thing that will be definitive. THE CUBS WILL SUCK AGAIN. Au Revoir.

European Babysitting

In every man's life you take a moment to sit down and reflect on how things have turned out. Financially I'm a mess, I have no idea what I am doing with my life, and I have come to the realization I have no real talents. While becoming fairly depressed on my life thus far, I was able to find some positives. For one I have no bastard children running around and two I have reached the point in my life where I need to babysit my parents. They do a lot for me and for that I am grateful. Without them I would not be sitting in France writing this blog, but my parents definitely gave me some ammo for this next post. I always new that the time would come where I would be leading them around, but I didn't know it would come at 23.
My mother took a summer position at the city pool to finance their Christmas trip to Europe. It was good to see them, especially as I was not going home like the other three American students who are in the master's program. They had a long trip, but be were finally able to meet at the hotel we were staying at in Paris. I got there a bit early, but I can proudly say I am getting used to public transportation and am becoming very efficient. While waiting, I was thinking of how my parents were going to fare in a new country, and especially one that does not speak English. Besides a a resort, I think this was the first time my parents stepped outside of the English speaking realm. Things were going to be different such as: customs, food & drink, and of course the language. When thinking about my dad, the first thing I thought of was the food and drink aspect. My father is a man who considers chicken a vegetable and if it is not a tall boy of Busch light, then they are just trying too hard. My mother, was bragging about taking French in high school and definitely has a more wide open palate when it comes to foods, but as mean as she can be around the wrestling brackets, I think she can be uncomfortable in new situations. It was definitely going to be an adventure.
They came bearing gifts and I was thrilled. Thank the lord my mom kept the gushers out of her carry on, because I know my dad would have got his grubby little fingers on those. They say you shouldn't hold a grudge, but this particular grudge has kept my knuckles white for years. Sorry dad, but I am going to bring it up again. I had been cutting quite a bit of weight my senior year, like every year prior, and like every year prior my dad was not thrilled with my weight management. I had been looking forward to the gushers that I would be enjoying after my matches for days. I had learned by my fourth year to not eat too much before you wrestle the hard way. I ate Taco John's early on in my career and had to stall the entire match as I was spitting up pieces of lettuce the entire match. I ate my sandwich and some good foods. In between matches my dad snuck down into the locker room and raided my lunch box, that my mother the saint had packed for me, and ate all of my gushers. I wanted to kill him. I literally would not speak to him after my match and I honestly don't think I spoke to him for a few days. How could you! Don't ever go to into comatose because I might just get thirsty and decide to drink your iv.
To get off this rant, we began our voyage in Paris. I only have French class 1.5 hours a week and in my program it is only pass fail so you could say I have missed a few. I think they expected me to be fluent and literally my mom had probably had more French education than myself. We started off and did some of the sights like the Louvre and did a little shopping like my dad wanted. We were tired and had a few drinks and were about ready to call it an early night, but I talked them into walking closer to the Eiffel Tower to see it light up, as it really is a spectacular sight. After convincing my dad, we walked down to a bridge that was close enough and had a great view. I think both of my parents were a little tuned up because my mom was spitting off a bridge at cars with me and my dad seemed to be disgusted. The light show came on and even my dad was impressed enough to give up on his feet being tired. Hey, wear some tennis shoes instead of your combo boots all the time. I even saw my parents hug. Awwwww. No way, do you realize how small our hotel was. If they were planning something funny happening they would have been right on top of me. Our hotel was tiny. We got home to the hotel at like 9 and thankfully their old ass's passed out quick without expressing their strange love for each other. Great, I was in the clear. Or so I thought. Those two both snore so loud it wasn't even funny and of course they didn't snore in synchronization. While one snored the other exhaled. It was like one continuous snore. It was awful. We did some of the tourist stuff in Paris and even took a nighttime on the Seine river to see some beautiful sights. I took a picture of my parents that looked like what family's want to look like. This was not the tell talk store of the cruise. While they look very happy, they cruise consisted of my dad complaining about how nasty the free champagne was. Sorry dad, there is not Busch light. My mom was muttering about her veins hurting and I mistakenly asked why. You try having 4 kids in 6 years, and I instantly regretted opening my mouth. We had a good time and there is really nothing about our time there that I could complain about.
We decided to come stay at my apartment and do some of the great sights that were in distance here. We went to Mont St. Michel, which is one of the most visited tourist attractions in France. It was a good day and we got back on the bus, but we ran into a little problem. I was able to get a cheaper round trip ticket because of my metro pass. We didn't know if theirs would be round trip and found out it was not. I had already walked on the bus a bit and I hear my mom's voice yell to me. They driver was telling her that they needed to by a ticket and she yells very loud, "Jake I need you to come translate". I looked at her and told her, "Mom, he is speaking to you in English". For a person who has done enough things to not feel embarrassed much, I felt a little warmth in the cheeks at that moment.
We really had a lot of fun and were able to check out the American Cemetery in Normandy and got to check out London for a few days, which was much easier, even though they had some trouble understanding an English accent. We almost got to see the most amazing fireworks display. While some people are defensive drivers, my dad is a defensive crowd walker. He plans out every possible scenario like a knife attack to a nuclear threat. Well, we had to go home early because he got to nervous about missing our early flight in the morning. Honestly, I got over that a lot quicker than the gushers. I can rag on them all night and since they are they few who read this I can say I had a great time and I hope you did as well. I definitely ate out more that week than I have my entire 7 months here. Love you guys. Just don't eat my gushers ever again. Keep traveling. Ay Revoir

A Pirates life for me

Twas the thirty first night of October and there was strange ambiance felt throughout the town of Rennes, France. It was Halloween and this needed to be a night to remember. I had vowed to never share this story with the general public, but things change and I am in the mood to tweet, so here goes. For a short background story, we had been to a night bar a few weeks prior and there was some sort of energy that had us drawn to this little nook of the bar. There it stood, the most amazing pirate decoration that we had ever seen. We had to get closer, had to just touch it. It was like a moth being drawn to a street light, I didn't want to grab it, but I just couldn't help myself. I recruited a lookout and went to grab this idol. I had it and not two steps later I was grabbed from behind a worker from the bar. My lookout had taken off and was nowhere to be found. The worker just took back the pirate and went back to work. He obviously did not say it, but I could see it in his eyes and two simple words popped into my head. Challenge accepted. It became an afterthought and it was just something we joked about from time to time.
Halloween came and although we had our party on Saturday, the holiday fell on a Monday and none of us had class so we decided to head out to a couple of local establishments. Like the party before, Ryan and myself were dressed like nerds. It was a cheap costume and a few of my friends had pulled it off a few years prior. I am not one violate a copyright so I asked permission and got the go ahead. We were out for a little bit, but it wasn't too exciting and we needed something to make it an epic Halloween night. I honestly do not know who suggested this, but we decided we were going to get this pirate. And that it what we did...or attempted.
It was a Monday night so this place was not packed in the least bit. There are actually at least 4 bars in this place, but they are rarely simultaneously open. We walked in an instantly got a dejected feeling. The entire area where the pirate was located was blocked off. It was like a wooden jail and was similar to the things that they would block of wings of high schools during wrestling tournaments, but like these fences could be torn down after a loss, and we were able to snake through.
This was the original plan. Ryan was going to go down and get it and bring it close to fence. Alex, from Montreal can obviously speak French, so he was going to walk outside and start a conversation with the bouncer. I would go in and grab this pirate and walk behind Ryan and get the F out. All was going according to plan. I got the Pirate and was trying to sneak up to the entrance and then it happened. I slipped on a stair and dropped it. Of course it made the loudest noise that seemed to echo throughout the entire bar and city. I heard some voices and the load pounding of shoes running towards my direction. O shit, where the hell am I going to go. I ran back down to where the pirate was located as I saw a sortie sign, which means exit, and hope there was a back way out of this bitch. I went down into what was like a cave and made it to the exit door. It was locked and I had nowhere to go. I took a deep breath and slowly turned around to discover my fate. There was a bouncer screaming at me in French. I couldn't understand a damn word he was was screaming at me. I responded in English and said, " alright I'm leaving." I tried to walk by and he grabbed me. Wow, this is about to go down. I pushed him off and once again stated I am leaving. He then tried to really grab me and take me down so I shoved him into a wall and took off. I was well ahead of him, but then of course I could not get back through the fenced off area and he grabbed me by the shirt and started to drag me out of the place, which was called La Place. Bad place to explain, but I am not a writer nor should be so I will explain our attire. Like I said earlier we were dressed as nerds. We were wearing a dress shirt, slacks hiked up, dress shoes, nerd glasses, suspenders, some messed up hair, and Alex had a fake mustache. Back to the story, he got me down the stairs and I had no idea where Ryan or Alex were, but there was one thing on my mind. How was I going to get out of this. He had a good grip on my shirt, but I was able to tap into my wrestling repertoire and popped his elbows up and was able to spin out. He grabbed my shirt, but I was also able to spin out of the shirt. I took off...kinda. In the process of having my shirt ripped off and half falling off a curb, I never gained proper footing. I lost a shoe and was trying to regain my balance on a cobblestone street and did not make it too far. During this Ryan was nice enough to pick up my shirt and take off after us. I never regained proper footing and got tackled from behind. I was able to quickly regain my footing even with him on my back, but he had me in a headlock. I offered to pay for the pirate, but of course the language I was speaking was not acknowledged. He started yelling police so it became apparent enough was enough. It was not a good headlock by men standards and basically just got under him and threw him off. He was able to grab a hold of the cutoff I had left, but there was no way I was going to be caught again. I ran through my shirt and took off running down the road in the general direction of my apartment. Alex was long gone, but Ryan was around in case stuff got too serious. I found out once I was gone he tried to grab Ryan and then instead just kicked him in the shin. He must have been a soccer player because he left a nasty welt on Ryan's shin. I ran until I knew there were no footsteps behind me. I had to look ridiculous. I had 1 shoe, no shirt, and hiked up pants with suspenders. People were acknowledging me as I ran by, but I didn't know what they were saying. We ran for awhile and realized we were safe.
We eventually made it home and relived the story about 30 times. I was so jacked up I even called some friends back home. That was when I had a phone that made calls to the US. It was my pre Albert Pujols trade phone. I know all of our stories were different, but we made it safe. We still have not gotten that pirate, but it is still there. My mother came in the end of December and I just told her that I lost my shoe. This is actually the story of how I lost that shoe. I have grown up since and do not do things of this nature anymore.

This actually did not happen and was just a story I made up for my creative writing class.